I'm not crybaby....

...or that's what I thought.

If you've read some of my older post you might have realized that I'm quite an emotional and compassionate person. But, except for goodbyes, I don't cry that easily.

I've seen news from horrible events on tv and on the internet. A lot. I've seen pictures and videos of wars, crimes and natural disasters all over the world. Of course I have. And of course it touched me. Of course it shocked me. But I never cried.
Because, even though I knew how horrible those events were and no matter how bad i felt for the people there, it all felt so far away.
Germany has been such a safe coutry every since I've been born. I never really felt concrete danger of war, or hunger or losing my home. Disasters don't happen in my home country. At least they didn't back in the time when I just felt at home in Germany.
That, as many of you may know, changed in 2009. Because as cheesy as it sounds, Japan has become my second home country. A part of my heart never returned to Germany with me.
And babamm now there's a horrible disaster in my home country. And I cried. Two times already. Yesterday in the morning when I first saw the pictures of the Tsunami and this morning when I heard about the explosion at the Fukushima power plant.


By now I heard from most of my friends in Japan that they're safe. But so many others aren't. And there might still happen worse things.

I don't want to watch the news anymore but I can't stop. I just want somebody who wears a suit and looks like he/she is in perfect control of everything tell me there's no danger anymore and no more peoply have died or will die.

My mum hugged me earlier and told me she was glad that I was here with them and safe. Actually exactly one year ago I would have been in office in Shibuya at the time the earthquake happened.
But I'm here. Safe and completely help- and useless.

I'm not really religious.... but I don't think I'm a hypocrite when I say I pray for Japan today.
Because this disaster, no matter how many miles away from me has happened, feels closer to my heart than I ever could imagine.